Don't Play the Victim

I went to the gym this morning and got on the treadmill. It was at six in the morning. I tried to listen to an audio book last week. As I listened to the author drone on I had to turn it off. I usually listen to my motivational and inspirational speeches in the morning. Last week I had wanted to try something different. I felt like I was missing something on the days that I didn't listen. I didn't have the usual hop in my step so to speak. While listening to my podcast I thought about when I started listening to these speeches on youtube. I thought about who and what made me start craving them each day. I can tell you one name that started the change in my life. #Matthew McConaughey is the one. I had always liked the man as an actor. I didn't know much about him other than that. Since then, I listen to his speech at least a couple times a week. This speech blows my mind every single time I hear it. It is amazing! Because it is so important to me I want to tell you about the five things he talks about. I have applied these things to my life and it has truly changed it. I want to help you to change yours for the better too! I literally get happy when I hear this. I have started saying alright, alright, alright to myself sometimes. I always smile when I do.

The first thing he talks about is that life is hard. That is so true. Sometimes we act like it isn't but it really is hard. Another thing he mentions is that life is not fair and it never has been and never will never be. This is so true. It seems like everyone thinks that everything should come to them without any sacrifice. It's like people want a redistribution of wealth as well. You get what you earn in this life. The most important thing in life is to improve. You do that through struggle. Achievements mean more when you have to struggle and work hard to get them. How many people do you see win the lottery and go broke in a short time. People generally get paid in proportion to what they contribute to the job of their choice. We learn far more when we make mistakes than we ever do from teachers or people. Delayed gratification is so important to learn how to control. We must do things that will reward us in the future. Saving money is one of those things. You must be prepared for the future. Another delayed gratification is eating well and exercise. They provide delayed gratification in that you will have a longer life. You will feel better with time.

The next thing in his speech he talks about is about what success means to us. This gave me a pause for thought. I had to really think about what success meant to me. I used to think it was traveling the world. I also realized that its okay to change your idea of success. Priority shifts as we grow as a person. I personally want to one day to own a condo business. I want to be a fabulous writer who is successful. Now I know what I want. Each day I try to achieve those goals. I write every day and I also create other attainable goals that I work toward. I want to run marathons. I work out five days a week in order to be able to do that some day. I eat healthy to live longer and feel better. We go to bed early so that we get plenty of rest. If you really want something work hard each day towards it. I had to let go of things that weren't serving me. I let go of anything preventing me from reaching my goals. And in doing so I gained so much. I feel better and am so much happier than I used to be. I actually found out who I was. Today I was thinking about it and for the first time in my life I liked myself. I have struggled my whole life with poor self-image. The last year of really working on self improvement has resulted in that. I was so shocked to realize it. I think a lot of it is recognizing my humble beginnings as a foster child and several other things as part of this victimization that is prevalent of late. The speech Matthew gave was about not playing the victim. Get over it and get on with it. I think that very speech made me recognize that I too had played the victim at different times in my life. I decided that no more would I be a victim. This made me a stronger person. Sometimes I say that to myself each day. There are post it notes all over my office to remind me of what is most important to me. It tells me my goals and it provides assurance that I am where I should be. We are all on a journey and we have to make sure we stay on the journey we want to be on. We have to make sure that we are aware of what our goals are. How can you get where you want to be if you don't know where you want to be.

Another fantastic thing I learned from that speech and from Matthew's book called "Green Lights"was the difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is dependent on an outcome but not joy. Joy is something that comes from doing what you are supposed to. It's when you do what you are supposed to because you experience joy. If you are seeking happiness all the time then you will be disappointed most of the time. As soon as you achieve happiness you will want to go to the next level. I think I always was disappointed in myself as a person because I wasn't happy all the time. Not even close. After I knew the difference, that was a game changer.

If you haven't heard the speech or read the book I suggest you take the time to do so. I don't think anyone would regret doing so. I think in the coming year I will listen to it each day. It is that important to me. I also believe that no matter who you sleep with you sleep alone. That really got to me. It's so true. We are alone with our thoughts at night. I know that I am my own worst enemy. No one has ever been more defeated than the man who second guesses himself. I used to always be afraid of something going wrong. That things were too good to be true. I finally realized that I didn't have to worry about bad luck. Everything was actually going right because I was working hard and doing the right things. Who was I to decide that I didn't deserve the promotion I received. Who was I to think that I shouldn't experience joy crossing the finish line on at a race. I no longer hear a voice in my head telling me that I'm not good enough. If you have ever had self-doubt than I guess you can relate.

Let us try to move forward in the new year and remember that each mistake is still a package and remember to take the lesson into the New Year. I hope each of you have happy holidays!